DUBAI: My confidence was non-existent in high school. My parents went through a long and ugly separation when I was 10 years old, and that affected me a lot — for many years I was in a post-traumatic state. Music was definitely a key in my therapeutic journey.
I used to look in the mirror and see an ugly person. Music — as cheesy as it may sound — helped me find my beauty and strength.
There was a fire that needed to come out, needed to be expressed somehow. Even today, music helps me understand myself through the songs that choose to come out of me.
My sister and I were caught in the crossfire of my parents’ separation, and I was angry at the world. I felt like I was in escape mode for most of my teenage years, doing anything I could to self-preserve and not go into a dark place. I couldn’t — I didn’t know how to — be more compassionate with my sister. I wish I had been kinder, and more loving to her. That’s something I’ll always regret.
I’m proud of how uncompromising and true to myself I am. I love the fact that I can translate my emotions into notes and words. Music for me is an extension to life, I’m aware that it’s a luxury that I get to have on a daily basis, and I’m thankful for that.
I love watching TV. That’s a huge part of my identity. I love stories in general. I prefer television over cinema, because television allows me to live the story longer, to get attached to these characters. Lately, I also got into comic books and graphic novels, and I’m loving this infinite universe of magic and color, where writers and illustrators cooperate to create something extraordinary. I’m sure I would have gotten into this world much earlier if we had a comic book store in Nazareth, but it’s never too late I guess.
“Xena: Warrior Princess” — a TV show from the 90s — had a huge influence on me. I loved how different Xena was. She was unlike any other character I’d seen on TV at the time. She was sensual and strong, feminine and masculine, she was a fierce warrior with a big heart. Xena was my kinda princess, she spoke to my soul more than any of the Disney ones. She pushed the boundaries of what I thought I could do as a little girl, changed how I perceived gender roles, she taught me that love has different faces and pushed me to be brave and fierce.
I think it’s important to look back at our accomplishments (as small as they might look to the world) and be proud of ourselves, and of our hard work and determination- which is a key word in the music industry.
“There’s no time for time.” That’s advice my husband, Amir, gave me, reminding me that our time on this planet is too limited for second-guessing ourselves.”
Someone once told me that they find refuge in my songs whenever they have problems at home, and that my songs make them feel safe. That was the best compliment I could ever get. That’s why I make music: I want to tell someone out there — a little Ruba who is sitting in her room — that she’s not alone. We’re in this together.
The people who really want me to succeed and improve don’t try to destroy me with their criticism, but build me up with it. As Miss Taylor Swift once said: “Haters gonna hate.” That’s what they do. And there’s nothing you can do about it but hold your head up high, smile, and carry on. I also find that comedy helps me cope with these situations.
As long as we have respect for each other, love always follows. I have friends from very different backgrounds, and some have very different beliefs than I do, and a different way of life. But I respect the way they are, and they respect me the way I am.
I used to feel like I had to tiptoe around male musicians if I wasn’t happy about something, because I didn’t want to be seen as bossy or controlling as a band leader. I think part of the problem is us — women. We’re too cautious about how others perceive us. Once we are free from that — once we care less about it — things can start to change.
I think women are very connected to their emotions, in life as well as in music. We can infuse whatever we’re going through into our art. I’ve noticed that men (in the jazz world at least) look at the creative process differently; they are more technical and tend to show off their musical muscle. I think it’s so much more interesting when the raw emotions come first and are the basis of everything else, then the technical stuff wraps up everything with a nice bow.
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